my favourite hobby
since i was a little kid, i've always loved reading books. it's like diving into another world, full of wonders and mysteries. books are my friends, my teachers, and my companions. they teach me about life, love, and the universe. i can spend hours in the library, browsing through shelves, picking up books with intriguing covers, and getting lost in their pages.
once, i read a book called 'the adventures of tom sawyer'. it was confusing at first because of all the old-fashioned words, but soon, i found it thrilling. the story made me feel as if i was right there with tom and his friends, getting into mischief. sometimes, when i'm reading, i forget to eat or sleep, which is probably not good, but that's how much i enjoy it.
i remember one time, my mom got mad at me for reading under the covers with a flashlight after bedtime. she said, 'reading is good, but too much of anything isn't healthy.' that's when i learned about balance. now, i set a timer for myself, so i don't miss out on other important things.
reading also helps me improve my vocabulary. i find new words every day, and even though i don't always understand them, i try to use them in sentences. like 'prolific', i thought it meant 'lazy' once, but it actually means 'productive'.
in conclusion, reading is my passion. it's not just a hobby; it's a part of who i am. it's like a key that unlocks countless doors to different worlds. i can't imagine my life without books. they make me smarter, braver, and more understanding.
老師評語：
你的作文展示了你對閱讀的深深熱愛，這種情感表達得十分真摯。然而，有些地方還需要改進。例如，“once, i read a book...”這一段，雖然講述了你的經(jīng)歷，但過于簡單，缺乏細節(jié)描繪。另外，“that's when i learned about balance.”這句話顯得過于成人化，不太符合小學(xué)生的表達方式。
內(nèi)容亮點：
你的作文中，你成功地描繪了你對閱讀的熱愛，如你如何被書中的世界吸引，甚至忘記了吃飯和睡覺。你的故事中融入了個人體驗，這是文章的一大亮點。
優(yōu)化參考：
“once, i read a book…”這段可以改寫得更具畫面感，比如：“我記得有一次，我沉迷于《湯姆·索亞歷險記》，那里的每個章節(jié)都像是冒險的邀請，盡管有些古老的詞匯讓我困惑，但我依然樂此不疲。”關(guān)于平衡的部分，可以改為：“媽媽看到我在床下偷偷看書，她告訴我，‘讀書好，但要適度，否則會影響健康哦?！瘡哪菚r起，我開始學(xué)會在閱讀和其他事情之間找到平衡?！?/p>
批改后作文
since i was a toddler, books have been my constant companions, transporting me to realms brimming with enchantment and enigma. one particular escapade, 'the adventures of tom sawyer,' initially perplexed me due to its archaic lexicon, yet soon, it became an exhilarating journey. i could visualize myself alongside tom and his comrades, embroiled in their innocent pranks. occasionally, my bibliophilia would reach a fever pitch, neglecting meals or sleep, until mom's gentle reprimand reminded me of life's diverse hues. 'reading enriches you, but excess of anything isn't beneficial,' she said. that lesson taught me the art of moderation, and now, i set a reading timer, ensuring a balanced lifestyle.
reading has also enriched my vocabulary. each day, i stumble upon new words, attempting to incorporate them into my speech, even if my initial understanding was off. for instance, i misconstrued 'prolific' as 'idle', but now i know it denotes 'productive'.
in essence, reading is my cherished pastime, an integral part of my identity. it serves as a magical key, unlocking unexplored territories. without books, my world would be devoid of color and adventure.
作文寫作素材：
閱讀參考
建議多閱讀兒童文學(xué)，如《哈利·波特》系列，增強故事描繪能力；同時，讀一些基礎(chǔ)的語法書籍，如《牛津英語語法手冊》，幫助改正語法錯誤；另外，《查理和巧克力工廠》這樣的書籍可以學(xué)習(xí)如何在故事中融入個人體驗。
相關(guān)詩句
1. 伯鸞長嘯出東都，來卜龍邱二畝居。千歲仍昆作英語，五噫文采尚周馀。胸中萬卷未得力，堂下一言誰識渠。我亦微官方冷甚，恨無燕玉可相噓。
